


Sith Immortal

by averyk4



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Kylo Ren is so emo, M/M, Multi, My immortal spoof, like honestly this is my immortal but also way more emo, poor spelling, sith coloured eyes for everyone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-05-09 04:40:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5525726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/averyk4/pseuds/averyk4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's My Immortal - Kyluxma style. Everyone has Sith coloured eyes and if you don't, you're probably a Jedi poser.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After watching TFA, I discussed with a friend that what we really needed was a My Immortal spoof with Kylo Ren/Hux/Phasma bc I love emo dorks.
> 
> So here. More updates to follow (I'm already at chapter 8 on Tumblr - kyloknightofren)

Hi my name is Kylo Ren and I’m a knight of the order of Ren (that’s how I got my name) and I have long ebony black hair that’s been feathered and reaches my shoulders and sepia brown eyes like burning chocolate and a lot of people tell me I look like a Anakin Skywalker (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a sith but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a leader of the First Order, and I work on a base called Starkiller in the Unknown Regions where I’m the boss (I’m thirty). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hoth Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black mask with silver around it and a black robe, black sash and cape, and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner, and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Starkiller. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of jedi stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

  
“Hey Kylo!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. General Hux!  
“What’s up Hux?” I asked.

  
“Nothing.” He said shyly.

  
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: Fangz 2 snefrue 4 helpin me wif da chapta! BTW jedi stop flaming ma story ok!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I debate whether Kylo would wear fishnets and come to the unmistakeable conclusion that yes, yes he would.

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my sith chamber and touched the helment of my grandpa. My chamber door was black metal and inside it was blood red with black. I gotout of my chamber and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used as pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather robe, a sith necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in kind of a messy bun.

  
My friend, Chaos Greystone (AN: Birdie dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. Ze flipped zir long waist-length raven black hair with red streaks and opened zir sith-red eyes. Ze put on zir Marily Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

  
“OMFG, I saw you talking to General Hux yesterday!” ze said excitedly.

  
“Yeah? So?” I said, blushing.

  
“Do you like Hux?” ze asked as we went out of the sith chamber and into the mess hall.

  
“No I so fucking don’t!” I shouted.

  
“Yeah right!” ze exclaimed. Just then, Hux walked up to me.

  
“Hi.” He said.

  
“Hi.” I replied flirtily.

  
“Guess what.” He said.

  
“What?” I asked.

  
“Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Coruscant.” He told me.

  
“Oh. My. Fucking. God!” I screamed. I love GC. They are my favourite band besides MCR.

  
“Well…. do you want to go with me?” he asked.

  
I gasped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on tumblr at kyloknightofren.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY JEDIZ OK! Odderwize fangs 2 da sith ppl 4 da good reviews! FANGS AGEN BIRDIE! Oh yeah, BTW I don’t own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I do actual research on Star Wars ships because "super kewl A-Wing" just wasn't going to cut it. I also think Kenel Ka is amazing, but having Hillary Duff appear in this story was going a bit too far, even for me.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them was red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather cape with all this lace stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I tortured a prisoner. I read a depressing book while I waited for the prisoner to wake up and listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I touched my grandfather’s helmet so I was ready to go to the concert.

  
I went outside. Hux was waiting there in front of his flying ship. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black military pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner. (AN: a lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

  
“Hi Hux!” I said in a depressed voice.

  
“Hi Kylo.” He said back. We walked into his flying black J-type 327 Nubian royal starship (the license plate said 666) and flew to the planet with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked spice and bacta. When we got there, we both hopped out of the ship. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

  
“You come in cold, you’re covered in blood

  
They’re all so happy you’ve arrived

  
The doctor cuts your cord, hand you to your mom

  
She set you free into this life.” Sang Joel (I don’t own da lyrics 2 dat song).

  
“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Hux, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

  
Suddenly Hux looked sad.

  
“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

  
“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.

  
“Really?” asked Hux sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

  
“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Tenel fucking Ka Djo. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

  
The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Hux. After the concert, we drank beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees and I crawled back into the J-type Nubian royal starship, but Hux didn’t go back to Starkiller Base, instead he flew the ship into… the Yavin 4 System!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me on Tumblr at kyloknightofren.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: I sed stup flaming ok kylo’s name is KALO nut mary su OK! HUX IS SOO IN LUV wif him dat he is acting derent. Dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Hester Hux wears contact lenses.

“HUX!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”

Hux didn’t answer but he stopped the flying ship on Endor and he waked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.

“Kylo?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped.

Hux leaned in extra-close and I looked into his sith gothic red eyes (he was wearing colour contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel made anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Hux kissed me passionately. Hux climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my cloak and I took off his clothes. I even took off my robe. Then he put his thingie in my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then…

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

It was….Luke Skywalker!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on tumblr at kyloknightofren. Come yell at my face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: STOP flaming! If u flam it menz ur a jedi or a posr! Da only reson Luke Sywakerl swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which the author valiantly tries to find a replacement for McGoogs and Snaps, and fails.

Skywalker made Hux and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You Ludacris fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry tears of sith energy down my pallid face. Hux comforted me. When we went back to Starkiller Base Skywalker took us to Maz and Wedge Antilles who were both looking very angry.

“They were having sexual intercourse on Endor!” he yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Maz.

“How dare you?” demanded Antilles.

And then Hux shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”

Everyone was quiet. Skywalker and Maz still looked mad but Antilles said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Hux and I went upstairs while the others glared at us.

“Are you okay, Kylo?”Hux asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to my sith chamber and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length robe with red lace all around it and black combat boots. When I came out…

Hux was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: shjt up jediz ok!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which a new player is introduced to the romantic narrative.

The next day I woke up in my sith chamber. I put on black skinny jeans that were all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

In the mess hall, I ate some Count Dooku cereal with dark force energy instead of milk, and a glass of blue milk. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blue milk spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic girl with spiky blonde hair with red streaks in it. She was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down her face and she was wearing black lipstick. She didn’t have glasses anymore and now she was wearing red contact lenses just like Hux’s and there was no scar on her forhead anymore. She had super contoured cheekbones. She had a sexy English accent. She looked exactly like a female Joel Madden. She was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw her kind of like an erection only not you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” She said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Captain Phasma, although most people call me Darth these days.” She grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the dark side of the force.” She giggled.

“Well, I am a sith.” I confessed.

“Really?” she whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to walk for a while. Then Hux came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.


	7. Bring me 2 life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: STOP FLAMIN OR ILL REPORT U! Kalo isn’t a marie sue ok he isn’t perfect hes a sith! N he has problemz hes depressed 4 godz sake!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which a horrible secret is revealed.

Hux and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Sith sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Darth. Dark misery was in her depressed eyes. I guess she was jealous of me that I was going out with Hux. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Hux. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

We started Frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather underwear and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

“Oh Hux, Hux!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Hux’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Darth!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Hux pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Hux ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Darth’s office where she was working with Wedge Antilles and some other people.

“DARTH PHASMA, YOU MOTHER FUCKER!” I yelled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come hang out with me on [tumblr](http://kyloknightofren.tumblr.com).


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: stop flassing ok! If u do de jedi!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which Rey makes an appearance, and the author makes a reference to Han Solo's first love interest.

Everyone in the office stared at me and then Hux came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

“Kylo, it’s not what you think!” Hux screamed sadly.

My friend B’loody Violet Demon smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waste-length gothic brown hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skint that she was wearing white makeup on. Rey was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are fighters for the First Order and one of them is a sith but Snoke killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.

“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Antilles demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

“Darth, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Hux!” I shouted at her.

Everyone gasped.

I don’t know why Kylo was so mad at me. I had went out with Darth (I’m bi and so is Kylo) for a while but then she broke my heart. She dumped me because she liked Britta, a stupid rebel fucker. We were just good friends now. She had gone through horrible problems, and now she was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a rebel.)

But I’m not going out with Hux anymore!” said Darth.

“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and flew to Endor where I had lost my virility to Hux and then I started to bust into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr!](http://kyloknightofren.tumblr.com/)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn wtch all da movie! Dis is frum da internet ok so itz nut my folt if luek swers! Besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! And da reson wedge dosent like phasma is coz hes rebel and darth is a sith! MCR ROX!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which a certain Dark Lord makes an appearance, and Shakespeare rolls over in his grave.

I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Hux for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Hux.

Then suddenly, an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a speeder! He didn’t have a nose (basically like Snoke in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn’t gothic. It was… Snoke!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Snoke shouted “Stop!” and I couldn’t run away.

“Chewbacca!” I shouted at him. Snoke fell of his speeder and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I’m a sith so I stopped.

“Kylo.” He yelled. “Thou must kill Darth Phasma!”

I thought about Phasma and her sexah eyes and her gothic blonde hair and how her face looks just like Joel Madden. I remembered that Hux had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Hux went out with Darth before I went out with him and they broke up?  
“No, Snoke!” I shouted back.

Snoke gave me a blaster. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” he yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Hux!”

“How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Snoke got a dude-ur-so-rebel-scum look on his face. “I hath the power of the dark side.” He answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Phasma, then thou know what will happen to Hux!” he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Hux came in the woods.

“Hux!” I said. “hi!”

“Hi.” He said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” He said all depressed and we went back into Starkiller together making out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr!](http://kyloknightofren.tumblr.com/)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: stup it u rebel jedis if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b’loody violet isn’t a jedi afert al n she n darth r evil datz y dey movd to starkiller ok!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which there is band practice and an apparent suicide.

I was really scared about Sonke all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Sith 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot, and the Mos Eisely cantina band. THe other people in the band are B’loody Violet, Darth, Hux, Poe (although we call him Pain Warrior now. He has goffik red hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Finn. Only today Hux and Darth were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Hux was probably torturing prisoners (he wouldn’t kill them because he’s a sadist too and the only way you can kill a sadist is with the l-i-g-h-t s-i-d-e (there’s no way I’m writing that) or a blaster) and Darth was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bantha. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my chest and tiny matching leggings that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I’m a slut but I’m really not.

We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“Kylo! Are you okay?” B’loody Violet asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, Snoke came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Phasma! But I don’t want to kill her, because, she’s really nice, even if she did go out with Hux. But if I don’t kill Phasma, then Snoke, will fucking kill Hux!” I burst into tears.

Suddenly Hux jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser jedi bitch!” (c is dat out of character?)

I started to cry and cry. Hux started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Luke Skywalker walked in angrily! His eyes were all firey and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) “Kylo Hux has been found in his room. He committed suicide by shooting himself with a blaster!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr!](http://kyloknightofren.tumblr.com/)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN: I sed stup flaming up jediz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fanz 2 ma frend birdie 4 hleping me!  
> (tw for suicidal behavior, creepy dudes masticating)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which a new love interest is introduced.

“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! B’loody Violet tried to comfort me but I told her to fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Luke Skywalker chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went to my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

  
Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I destroyed the corner of my room. Stuff got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Corellian Park song at full volume. I grabbed a light saver and almost stuck in into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut robe with lace all over it sandly. I put on black combat boots with red metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed…

Antilees was spying on me and he was taking a holo vid of me! And Moff Toorkin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their speeders.

  
“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Manson on it. Suddenly Darth ran in.

  
“Pew Pew!” she yelled at Antilees and Toorkin pointing her bluster. I took my blaster and shot Antilees and Toorkin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Skywalking ran in. “Kylo, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Antilles and Toorkin and then he waved his blaster and suddenly…

  
Finn ran outside on his speeder and said everyone we need to talk.

  
“What do you know, Finn? You’re just a little trooper!”

  
“I MAY BE A TROOPER…” Finninin paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST.”

  
“This cannot be.” Antilees said in a crisp voice as blood dripped form his hand where Skywalking’s blaster had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

  
“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

  
Toorkin held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined by the holovid is still there!”  
I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not talk to grandpa enough.

  
“Why are you doing this?” Toorkin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

  
And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to attack him and take his dark energy because I felt faint.

  
“BECAUSE…BECAUSE…” Finn said and he paused int he air dramitaclly, waving his blaster in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Credits.

  
“Because you’re goffic?” Antilees asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with the dark side.

  
“Because I LOVE HIM!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr!](http://kyloknightofren.tumblr.com)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the author returns from an accidental hiatus and the ridiculous shenanigans resume.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: stop f,aing ok finnnin is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in coruscant skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu! ho du u no wedge iant jedi plus finn isn’t really in luv wif kylo dat was soe ok!

I was about to torture a prisoner with the silver lightsaber that Hux had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS FInn but it was Darth. She started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOO! MY TATTOO HURTS!” and then… her eyes rolled up! You could only see her red whites.

I stopped. “How did u know?”

“I saw it! And my tattoo turned back into a jedi symbol!”

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have a tattoo anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Pain Warrior changed it into a first order logo for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” she said back.   
“Anyway my tattoo hurt and it turned back into the jedi symbol! Save me! then i had a vision of what was happening to Hux…Soake has him bondage!”

Anyway I was in the nurse’s office now recovering from my light saber wounds. Antileeees and Torkin and FINN were there too. They were going to a hospital ship after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs working in a death base with lots of hot sithz. Skywalker had conspitaped the holovid camera they took of me naked. I put my middle finger at them.

Anyway Finn came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

“Kylo I need to tell u something.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hat ehte colour pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up jediz like you.” I snapped. Finn had been mean to be before for being gottik.

“No Kylo.” Finn says. “Those are not roses.”

“What, are they goffs to you poser jedi?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t i replied.” “You saved me from getting a Thrackan Sal-Solo p-video made from your shower scene and being vued by Antilees and Toorkin.” Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

“Whatever!” I yelled angrily.

He pointed his blaster at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY!.

“That’s not a goffik saying that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he creamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio (4 all you cool goffic mcr fans out there, that is a tribute! Specially for birdie I love you pal!)imo noto okayo!”

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.

“OK i belive you not wtf is Huxx?”  
Finnin rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.  
“U c, Kaaalo,” Skywalkie said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes (HAHAHA UREVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urself 1st, k?”

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!” Finnin yelled. sKYWALKie lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or he would have said something back.

Finnin stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, knight skywalkerrrrrrrr!”

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather robe that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Mirta from the Mandalorian Army (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss. 

“You look kawaii, boy.” B’loody Violent said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I killed two prisoners feeling totally depressed and I sucked a bunch of sith energy out of grandpas hat. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Toorkin and Antilees couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some meetings. Darth was in the Murder of Non-Human Creatures meeting. She looked all depressed because Hux had disappeared and she had used to be in love with Hux. She was stabbing a storm trooper.

“Hi.” she said in a depressed way. “Hi back” I said in an wqually said way.  
We both looked at each other for some times. Darth had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Huxs. Then… we jumped on each other and started screweing each other.

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Maz who was watching us and so was everyone else.

“Darth you fucker!” I said slapping her. “Stop tryingt o screw me. You know i loved hux!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then she started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOO! MY TATTOO HURTS!” and then…. her eyes rolled up! You could only see her red whites.

“NO!” I ran up closer.

“I thought you didn’t have a tattoo anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Pain Warrior changed it into a sith logo for me and I always cover it up with foundation.” She said back. 

“Anyways my tattoo hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Hux…Soakee has him bondage!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yell at me for not updating for many moons at [kyloknightofren](www.kyloknightofren.tumblr.com). I've been sitting on this for months. There's no excuse.

**Author's Note:**

> So there will be more chapters but AO3 isn't let me say there will be. Sorry team! I will update asap.


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